this is my world.. just me.. myself.. and i..

Yellow there fellow bloggers!!! it’s been a while since I last posted something ‘ere.. ahhh~ The air surrounding me and my desktop, the sounds that I hear from typing in the keyboard and how the coffee smells beside me.. hmmmm this is really me writing a post for my blog.. *tee hee how I miss this feeling.. it’s been what? 1 month since I wrote something.. been kind of busy this past couple of weeks.. xD heads up though this thing that i’m writing here.. mushy stuff.. major mushy stuff! don’t tell me i didn’t warned yeh.. haha okay ‘ere it goes..

Few questions formed in my head this past couple of weeks.. and as I go along.. some of those questions became apparent to me but some.. well let’s just say it’s better not to find the answers.. For time knows when will the right time be.. n__n But since I’m here.. I’ll share some of the questions that I had this past few weeks. My first question was, how can two people feel the same way at the same time? Haha can you answer that.. I’ll give you a million bucks if you can answer that.. of course, a condition though.. I should be convinced and satisfied with the answers.. =P ohhhh another question.. how can you entrust something valuable to someone and not feel a single ounce of anxiousness? Good question eh? Problem is.. I don’t know where to find the answer for that.. lol I have a few more here.. but I can’t seem to remember all of it.. xD errrr.. oh oh here’s another one.. this is one hell of a question.. but don’t laugh awryt?! O_o how can you know that you’re………………………….. hahaha i can’t write it.. even i myself is laughing right at this moment.. lol xD naaaah! just forget about it.. i think i should prolly keep that to myself instead (just sparing myself from embarrassment here *tee hee)

I have sooooooooooooooooooo many questions in my head right now.. too much goin on.. but hey! what can i do? if i wasn’t thinking too much.. then i’m not cath, in other words im not being myself xD.. anyway, those question that i have.. it doesn’t matter.. thanks to a certain retarded i know.. (peace! if you’re reading this xD) okay fine.. i’ll be rephrasing it.. Thanks to a FELLOW retarded like ME! there happy? haha I can forget all of those questions i have just as long as i have you here with me.. n___n i’m not going to ask you to stay here forever.. but please do.. haha kidding.. no seriously.. i’m not sure if you’ll just going to be like them and leave.. but i’m contended knowing you, and having you here.. thank you sooooooo much for making me laugh so hard, for telling those corny jokes (they’re corny but still makes me laugh xD), for singing even if you don’t want to (but i know you want to.. you’re just hiding it haha), for telling me everything (are you telling me everything? =P), for carrying my big bulky bag when we’re together xD, for holding my hand, for texting me before you go to sleep, for being sooooooo “makulet” xD, for allowing me to take a picture of you wearing my girly bracelet haha.. (by teh way you haven’t posted that picture yet n__n) and for just being the “retarded” you.. ^.^v thanks hubby ko!

thanks to my hyper acidity attack no work for me today and best thing is.. i’m writing a post in my blog today.. lol xD

I was so excited to write about this post.. If i had time last night then prolly i’ve already posted this one.. but anyway.. I don’t normally watch TV (i used to be a TV addict when i was in high school and college xD).. my routine is.. work-home-dinner-internet-and-bed.. that’s my normal routine everyday (but that routine recently changed too.. thanks to.. well.. errr..i think i should prolly keep that to myself *tee hee).. and on weekends.. Internet-food-some extra activities-bed.. lol xD but yesterday (it was sunday) a program caught my attention.. it was hosted by korina sanchez.. i can’t seem to remember teh tilte of her show though.. (like what i’ve said .. not much of a tv person here) The story was a bout a couple.. You know typical guy marrying teh girl he loves.. but there is a twist in their love story.. teh guy knew that teh girl has a few years to live and yet he still chooses to marry her..

*[daydream mode]* hey cath! snap back to reality already!!! this is not teh best time to daydream! geez cath!

anyway going back.. lol xD now where was i? oh yeah.. teh guy marries teh girl despite of her situation.. and luckily she had few years to live and they had 3 kids.. oh and by teh way according to teh doctors it is not advisable for her to have kids.. but still..she had chosen to have kids with him.. *sigh they had years of a happy family life.. but sadly teh girl’s condition worsens as time passes by.. she knew that her time isn’t that long so she had told her husband that her only wish before she go is to see teh sunset.. so to fulfill her wish, he took her and their kids to baywalk to watch teh sunset.. unfortunately.. her time came.. T_T days, months, years passed.. he still mourns for the loss of her wife. One thing that really really touched me is.. he still write letters for her in a blog form.. I was like all “awwwwwww!” last night.. The fact that his wife passed away.. and HE STILL WRITES TO HER! O-M-G!!! that is teh sweetest thing I have ever heard that a guy could do for a girl.. *sigh If only all guys are like him.. there will not be any broken families, no girls will cry over an a-hole, the word “unfaithfulness” will be erased from the dictionary and mostly.. prolly more people will believe in the word “forever”.

i came across with an unusual test today and teh title was.. guess what.. it says or should i say it asks.. “are you a hopeless romantic?” lol xD teh title sure caught my attention.. xD well as you all know.. i’m a self-confessed hopeless romantic.. *grin

here’s teh website: http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=715

take teh test.. i mean it won’t hurt you..

most of teh people have this wrong perception of being a hopeless romantic.. let me clarify it to you.. listen good and listen well!!! A hopeless romantic is NOT someone who can’t get anyone to love them and they die lonely.. NO!!! that’s just wrong.. and don’t get confused with a “hopeless flirter” with a “hopeless romantic..” they’re two different words and definitely have different meanings.. well a hopeless flirter.. from teh root word “flirt” well i guess we all know about that.. xD a hopeless romantic is someone who believes in finding their one true love in teh right place and at teh right time; that there is a singular person in this world that will make their world come together; that there will be someone out there for them who is willing to grow old with’em.. n__n *sigh and that is a hopeless romantic.. we clear?! goooood!

let’s just say some of teh hopeless romantics out there are not committed.. they are single.. most of teh time they’re called “Ms./Mr. Independent”, “Ms./Mr. approach with caution” and here’s my favorite.. xD “Ms./Mr. on-her/his-own”, lol want to know why? well let me explain it to you.. they are single because they keep on waiting for their so-called ideal story to begin..

as for me.. i do believe that that there will be a moment when all failed relationships, expected text messages that haven’t been received, all of the silly games and unsteadiness and wetting the pillow with tears will all make sense and i will end up with somebody who will accept all my of flaws and abnormalities in my case lol xD, who will hold my hand while we walk, who will find my clumsiness adorable and someone who watches me when i sleep.. *sigh and that my friend is a perfect example of a hopeless romantic.. and that example would be…… ME? lol xD

oh by teh way.. here are my result for taking teh test.. don’t laugh awright?!!! >_< (just copy teh link and paste it on teh address bar n__n)

http://img384.imageshack.us/my.php?image=resultyc7.jpg

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23 Sep 08

meow-meow here.. now signing in..

hey guess what.. turned 24 today.. as much as i want to stay @ 23.. i can’t.. everyone’s got to get old right? xD how was my day you may ask.. well just a typical day for me.. nothin really special.. but there was this voice inside me, tellin me that there would be something special for me today.. but i guess that’s just teh effect of me being hungry.. xD sorry haven’t eatin anything since 12 noon..

Today i received text messages and private messages from some of my friends.. yep.. you’re right.. everyone greeted me a happy birthday.. and i thank you for that of course.. but wait.. it’s not only “happy birthday cath” did i recieve today.. no!!! there was this follow-up statement that made me a bit pissed.. wild guess maybe?! if you’ve guessed that someone wanted to treat me on my birthday.. eeeeee.. your guess was wrong.. but if you have guessed that everyone asked me these questions: “hey cath! may lovelife na ba?” or “musta lovelife?” or here’s my favorite “may bf ka na ba?”.. well you’ve guessed it RIGHT!!!! puhlease people teh last thing i want to hear were that questions.. it’s like everyone’s reminding me that i am alone.. thank you very much for rubbing it in by teh way.. oh not contented yet.. okay just to make things clear and for everyone to stop buggin me about those questions… NO! i don’t have a boy friend and NO!!! i’m not giving you my number.. so there happy? hope you are.. no further questions? GOOD!!

Anyway, movin on.. i was surprised with one message that i’ve received today.. i’m not mentioning her name.. sorry.. because she’ll prolly kill me if i tell you her name.. xD anyway.. she did greet me a happy birthday and thank you for that by teh way.. no she did not ask those questions that i have mentioned above. . but instead she answered why i don’t have those (remember those questions that i’ve told you about? yep! that’s it).. she told me that it’s either i am afraid of loving someone or afraid to get hurt or most prolly i haven’t moved on yet.. well obviously she is wrong about teh last part.. hell! why would i waste my time and tears for a-holes like them (pardon my french).. it’s not my first time hearing it (teh second and teh first part).. but when i read her message today.. it made me think.. maybe she’s right.. maybe i’m a scaredy cat.. afraid to get out of my comfort zone and afraid to open up.. hey! can you blame a girl who’s been cheated by two different b-heads (please excuse me for saying that xD)? lol finally.. that felt good! no i’m not mentioning their names here.. again.. moving on.. and she also said i should learn how to trust or to have faith with someone.. funny i remember someone saying those things to me too.. xD i mean i’ve done my part.. i’ve tried to open up.. but that didn’t work also.. and one thing in her message that struck me teh most was me being a Gloomy Gus.. can you believe that? i mean i do smile a lot.. i really do.. ask my friends.. i easily laugh at silly stuffs.. they say that “mababaw ang kaligayahan ko”.. but thanks anyway sis! thank you for being honest.. i do appreciate it a lot.. don’t worry i’ll let you know if i’ve finally opened up and i finally got out of my box.. but i’m not so sure when will that be.. lol n__n

*sigh that was a long one.. got to go to bed now.. i’m bit exhausted from all of that.. >_< so til here.. happy birthday to me.. it’s 11:02PM i’m officially 24 yrs. old as of teh moment..

this is meow-meow singing off..

i had a date with my laptop, our department’s printer, scanner and fax machine all at teh same time *tee hee .. meaning i went to work even if it is a weekend.. workaholic? nah.. i just had some pending items at work.. but anyway.. i just realized that i haven’t changed one bit since.. well i don’t know.. since high school? i guess..i’m still the same old cath .. well except for my hair.. just had a haircut last two weeks ago.. as for my height.. *sigh still teh same.. well i’m turning 24 this month.. *sigh and in that 24 years nothing outrageous happened to me.. except havin an allergy last four weeks ago..

I want to do something.. something that i haven’t done before.. something.. well.. exciting i guess.. anythin beyond my own lil box.. like.. bungee jumping or go to teh places that i have never been to, or sky diving without a parachute.. yeah right.. like that would happen.. i still have dreams to fulfill and i still haven’t meet toma ikuta in person *tee hee.. for once i want to do something.. something that i could tell my grandchildren hey i did this when i was young or i’ve been there.. but anyway.. here’s teh list of teh things that i want to do.. not very interesting though.. anyway here it is..

1. go and visit Japan, Paris, and Rome

2. learn how to skate

3. learn how to speak nihongo

4. own a silver 2005 Porsche Carrera GT (yeah right.. like that would happen O_o)

5. get to meet toma ikuta and get a kiss from him on teh nose.. xD

6. ask bill gates if teh “anti-christ” issue is true..

7. to have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

8. Go on a Caribbean Cruise

9. Own all of teh godly items in ragnarok online.. lol

10. see a real panda bear

11. have at least a 5-15 minute talk with my father

12. have a shopping spree with my mom

13. eat “sinigang na hipon” without havin an allergy (talkin about an impossible thing here)

and 14. errr.. nope i’m not telling you.. i would keep that to myself ^,^v

hope that someday i can do all of that.. okay some of it is close to impossible i know.. half of it maybe? i hope..

it just occurred to me now.. most of my friends say i’m undoubtedly cynical to every situation i’m in .. but i think i’m otherwise.. you see.. i’m just being realistic.. why? well for an instance.. errrr.. let’s just use teh subject that everyone lurves to talk about.. “LOVE”.. caught your attention didn’t I.. okay.. here goes.. let’s just say you’re in a relationship and there you thought that your relationship is flawless.. and everything is fine.. and then suddenly problem/s came in.. as a result there would be turmoil.. practically boy/girl believes that everything will be perfect after teh storm (not being realistic there are they?).. but turns out that it didn’t.. obviously boy/girl gets his/her heart broken.. and then that will take some time before it will be healed.. certainly it will leave a scar.. or even worst.. what if it never heals? Obviously boy/girl will have a hard time finding another love again.. some will be bitter for teh rest of their lives, some will be.. well let’s just say they will still hold on to that old love.. never realizing that it will be impossible to get it back.. lesson learned.. never put too much faith in something.. because you’ll just get your heart broken.. see if boy/girl was realistic enough.. then they wouldn’t end like that.. well that’s just for me being realistic of course (a bit defensive am i? *tee hee).. another situation here.. boy/girl says that they can be with teh one they love forever.. i mean come on people.. this is physically impossible.. geez.. be realistic at least.. instead of saying this.. why don’t they say errrrm.. i don’t know something like “i’ll stay with you until i can” or i’ll surely be here until you need me to.. is it lame.. well at least that’s realistic isn’t it? lol xD

Being a hardcore cynic has its pros and cons too.. let’s start with the pros first.. 1. free from any emotional pain (sooo true), 2. you won’t be easily fooled, 3. clear headed (easy to make a decision), and 4. nobody will dare to mess with you.

Then let’s go to its cons.. 1. tends to build a wall around them, 2. never goes out of their comfort zone, 3. biased, and 4. most of them are cold hearted (not sooo sure about this one though xD) and 5. Wants to go out of their own little world but they can’t.. afraid they might get hurt and afraid that they won’t survive outside of their world..

How did I know all of that.. well.. i don’t know why.. i just know them.. >_<

Cynical and realistic are two different words.. but at least along those letters.. they are much alike.. well i guess.. i’m a bit cynical but that’s just me being realistic.. make sense?

Hi there fellow bloggers.. *big grin.. Today I visited my former life.. well.. not exactly.. errr you can say that.. but.. am not making any sense here am i? Anyway.. I logged in to my Ragnarok character/s today.. And I was soooooo shocked to see that only few gamers are online.. well usually there are 2-3 thousand gamers online when it’s a weekend.. and hell.. number of gamers decreased by 50%.. 50% people.. and it’s just been.. i don’t know.. 3-4 months since i went INACTIVE.. *sigh I can still remember those times.. *sigh.. When I first started playing Ragnarok there are still many fanatics of this game.. (though bots are present) still you can find gamers who are not AI.. The excitement of being in a siege(siege meaning war of all the guilds in the server) well many call it War of emperium.. but it’s easier saying siege instead of WAR OF THE EMPERIUM.. right? *tee hee I was a gypsy back then.. of course my job is to dance near the portal.. <_< pretty boring huh?! but hey that’s a big help (somehow >.<).. coz it blocks all teh skills within the cell area affected..this skill needs a minstrel by teh way.. (minstrels are the male counterpart of gypsies, more like their love team lol.. xD) teh fun part is when i get to use teh "arrow vulcan skill" well it’s not a "killer skill" like that of the assassin cross’  sonic blow.. but it’s fun using it.. First i freeze my opponent then i use +10 double bloody double bone rope plus ori arrows with a  wind converter (of course my enemy is in a frozen state) then boom.. lotsa damage done.. lol xD you don’t understand a single thing do yeh?? well unless you played/playing Ragnarok right? *sigh anyway.. i sooo miss those times..
My friends in RO are the ones that i miss teh most.. you know.. staying up late at night just chatting with them.. feels like you’ve known them forever though you haven’t meet them in person.. Sharing your insights and problems with them.. stuffs like that.. xD Of course there are "antipatikas" and antipatikos" too.. oh oh.. there was this one time that i was called a "chiksi" (chiksi meaning chiksilog).. that was funny.. he thought that i was guy.. i even gave him my friendster account just to prove that i’m a real girl.. you know what he said.. lol he said "sa kapatid mo lang to eh" lol i was sooooo pissed at him i ended up blocking all his private messages.. hahaha i won’t mention his name because he added me as his friend (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! a-hole.. pardon my french.. xD)
Oh one more thing.. just want to share.. In my whole Ragnarok Online Life.. My characters were never married.. as in 0.. nada.. wala.. lol i don’t know why.. all of my characters are cute.. way cuter than most of teh characters there.. haha anyway.. i’ve got to take a nice warm bath now.. gotta go.. till next time bloggers.. n___n oh below are my screenies in-game..

my gypsy.. cutie isn’t she?

my high priestess.. she is now level 80 i think.. xD

my cutie snipey (sniper xD)

can’t seem to find a screenie of my assassin cross, my baby assassin and my alchemist.. T_T but i will post ‘em as soon as i find one.. * tee hee

*sigh what a long tiring day it has been today.. *sigh I just don’t feel like talking.. i don’t know what has gotten into to me today.. i was fine this mornin.. you know the usual cath who smiles a lot.. the uber hyper cath.. but that cath disappeared this afternoon.. i just don’t know why.. maybe PMS? prolly..yeah..  but….. nah.. that can’t be it.. because it’ll be much worse if it is PMS.. >_< lol

why is it that when your feel crappy.. you  think everything around you IS crappy.. now how many times did i say crappy? there i said it again.. ughhhhhhh *sigh

I feel like sighing all night… BUT on second thought I won’t do that coz.. i’d rather sleep all night than do that.. now what am I writing about.. *sigh of course i’ll be answering my own question.. cath, you’re writing about crappy and senseless stuff.. you dumbass.. now i’m talking to myself.. sounds freaky eh.. well that’s just another part of the cath that you don’t know.. well yeah.. i wouldn’t say that i am not freaky or i am not a weirdo.. but hey.. i’m proud of it.. xD coz without those things.. i wouldn’t be like this.. i wouldn’t be the cath that i am now.. i’m freaking you out am I? if i am.. well fine.. i’ll stop now.. next time for sure.. i’ll be writing something.. err good.. for sure it won’t be as crappy as this…. >_<

I was just reading teh usual stuff on my favorite fan fiction site.. (am not tellin yeh where *evil laugh) usual mushy stuff.. okay okay.. fine.. i admit it.. i’m a hopeless romantic.. so there.. anyway.. it occurred to me.. is there such thing as  a "happy ending"?  clearly not all stories end in happy endings.. you know.. boy marries girl.. girl lives happily ever after with teh guy she loves and so on and so forth.. Well if you ask me i’m not sure if these kinds of stories really do exist.. because I, myself.. for once never get to experience this so called "happy ending".. don’t ask me why, because i’m not tellin you THAT part of my story.. so back into this happy ending thing.. is there such a thing? Because if there is.. for once in my life.. i would like to experience that "ending"(am pretty much sure that "this" happens only once in every person’s life).. they say that every "happy ending" starts with meeting teh right person, at teh right situation and at teh right time.. in other words.. timing is teh key/s to it.. a disclaimer though.. i’m not an expert here.. just heard it from my "reliable sources" *tee hee.. Most of them had their "happy endings" or at least they know they’ll have that kind of "ending", obviously all of that happened (or will happen) because of that so-called key/s.

Reading from teh fan fiction site.. it occurred to me.. will this ever happen to me? if yes.. when? well i’m not asking for a handsome prince with a white horse to sweep me off my feet and carry me into his castle..  I just want to find a person who i can spend hours hours just talkin to ‘him .. to spend a quiet time without uttering one word and yet i still feel comfortable being with him.. a person who will hold my hand while we’re walking.. who thinks of me every waking  hours of his life .. someone who will call me "mine", mushy isn’t it.. don’t say i didn’t warn yeh.. it’s written all over here.. *whispers i’m a hopeless romantic remember xD (i know  teh last 2 parts are a lil bit too much.. xD but hey who doesn’t like that.. mushy stuff/s.. lol or whatever you wan to call it..) well that for me is more than enough.. i may not experience that ultimate "happy ending" but getting what i’ve mentioned above is more than enough for me..